Post by Aki on Feb 10, 2012 13:41:24 GMT -5
the following poem is in no way autobiographical, or maybe it is... 
I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!!! AHHH!!!!
I regret the way I've been living my life
I regret the way I've been living my life.
There's so much more I should've done,
So much I should've said,
But I didn't because
I thought no one would understand.
That was my ultimate dream
Ever since I turned eight.
It was a very simple dream,
To be understood by people and
To have friends like everyone else.
But I was just a toy
For most of my schoolmates!
Now I'm ashamed of myself.
I used to be such a doormat!
They teased me,
Pushed me aside,
Used me when they wanted to be entertained.
And I let them.
Then when I turned eleven,
I decided to stop being such a doormat.
A seemingly cold, heartless, stoic teenage anime boy
Became my role model.
I pushed all my emotions aside,
Ignored them till I almost forgot how to feel,
Kept my distance from everyone,
And became a very quiet, isolated and violent person.
I started listening to metal music.
People were scared of me.
I liked the feeling,
The feeling that the slave
Had now become the ruler.
I hated everyone,
Despised them with all my heart.
I soon learned to become stoic
And turned my emotions to a big block of ice.
When I turned twelve,
I got tired of being stoic.
I let them see my emotions again.
It didn't make much difference.
Most of my emotions
Had already flown right out of my head!
I was still a very violent person.
I still got angry sometimes.
But that was it.
I had destroyed everything else.
Everything else
That I once consisted of.
When I struck thirteen,
My emotions were brought back
By some mysterious force.
I would say 'god',
But I lost all faith in god
When I was nine.
Only a few emotions were brought back, though.
The emotions called regret, depression and bliss.
If someone insults me,
I don't care.
If someone hits me on the head,
I don't care.
If I almost get run over by a truck,
I don't care.
If I feel horrible after a sleepless night,
I don't care.
If my birthday is coming,
I don't care.
I regret the way I've been living my life,
For I've destroyed the most important thing in it.
That thing is
What I used to call 'me'.
I'VE SAID TOO MUCH!!! AHHH!!!!I regret the way I've been living my life
I regret the way I've been living my life.
There's so much more I should've done,
So much I should've said,
But I didn't because
I thought no one would understand.
That was my ultimate dream
Ever since I turned eight.
It was a very simple dream,
To be understood by people and
To have friends like everyone else.
But I was just a toy
For most of my schoolmates!
Now I'm ashamed of myself.
I used to be such a doormat!
They teased me,
Pushed me aside,
Used me when they wanted to be entertained.
And I let them.
Then when I turned eleven,
I decided to stop being such a doormat.
A seemingly cold, heartless, stoic teenage anime boy
Became my role model.
I pushed all my emotions aside,
Ignored them till I almost forgot how to feel,
Kept my distance from everyone,
And became a very quiet, isolated and violent person.
I started listening to metal music.
People were scared of me.
I liked the feeling,
The feeling that the slave
Had now become the ruler.
I hated everyone,
Despised them with all my heart.
I soon learned to become stoic
And turned my emotions to a big block of ice.
When I turned twelve,
I got tired of being stoic.
I let them see my emotions again.
It didn't make much difference.
Most of my emotions
Had already flown right out of my head!
I was still a very violent person.
I still got angry sometimes.
But that was it.
I had destroyed everything else.
Everything else
That I once consisted of.
When I struck thirteen,
My emotions were brought back
By some mysterious force.
I would say 'god',
But I lost all faith in god
When I was nine.
Only a few emotions were brought back, though.
The emotions called regret, depression and bliss.
If someone insults me,
I don't care.
If someone hits me on the head,
I don't care.
If I almost get run over by a truck,
I don't care.
If I feel horrible after a sleepless night,
I don't care.
If my birthday is coming,
I don't care.
I regret the way I've been living my life,
For I've destroyed the most important thing in it.
That thing is
What I used to call 'me'.